don't be scared

of how cute I am

tiny me

bigger me with snappy coat and pants ensemble

bride of christ me

High in Fiber

This is a small accordian book based on the books Ahab's Wife and Moby Dick that I made for a recent fibers-based class gallery show titled 'High in Fiber'. We wanted to be more casual about our approach, so we chose a silly title. We did, however, go all out with posters and announcements and a closing reception with lots of wine and treats. It was a weird experience, to be honest. We had two weeks to design and execute our pieces. Mine is appoximately 4"x6" (one of the smallest in the show), and is comprised of tea-stained 100% cotton linter paper, cotton fabric, pigments, & inks, and is titled 'The Locket".

Hello. My name is Melissa and I am addicted to pain killers

Two weeks ago, I was trying to be helpful at work by putting away some boxes. Long story short - I zigged and the boxes zagged. I felt ok until I was getting in my car to leave and my lower back starting throbbing. I hung in there through the weekend with ibuprofen and laying flat on my back, but ended up calling in hurt and having to go to the doctor for a workers comp exam. After the drug pee test AND alcohol blow, the doctor finally saw me. He poked around and then handed me a prescription for a painkiller and a muscle relaxer. Sweet. The next few days were hazy and blissful - not so much pain in the back, and not so much of anything else either. I was perfectly content to lay there, watch tv, and get better. Towards the end of last week I realized that the painkillers weren't working as well. They weren't putting me out like they had been, and the creeping pain in my butt and leg wasn't disappearing like before. No biggy though, cause I think overall I'm getting better. Move ahead to this past monday. I woke up in the morning feeling pretty crappy, like I had been drinking all weekend long. I was dizzy, dehydrated, and shakey. Weird. My back was also still twinging, shooting pains down my butt and leg. Gotta take my owie pills. But first I have to shower, brush the choppers, iron my clothes, lube up with the appropriate lotions and products, put make-up, clothes, and shoes on, wander around aimlessly, and finally eat my breakfast. By the time breakfast comes around I'm in the car riding shot gun trying to eat with a shakey hand and keep the milk from dribbling down my chin. What the hell is going on?? I get to work, get settled, get a drink, and finally take my pills around 9:30 am. Within a half-hour all the shakes, aches, pains - everything - is gone. I feel great. Today I wake up shakey and dehydrated again. Around 11:00 I take a painkiller, cause my back is twinging sitting in that damn chair all morning and I'm terrified of hurting myself again or undoing any healing I've done. Soon after I notice how normal I feel. Ok kids, let's think this over. The pills aren't fun anymore, and I feel like crap when I skip taking them - can we say my body is accustomed to these drugs? Is this what addiction is? How scary is this? Very. VERY very. So obviously, I'm not taking the pills anymore. I'm gonna tough it out with ibuprofen and walking and stretching. What is most distressing to me is how fast it happened. It took about 7 days total to get to a point that I could have started taking MORE since it felt like they weren't doing anything anymore. Jesus. I've never been more glad that I'm paranoid about taking medicine. After my physical therapy appointment this coming Monday I'm getting back to the gym and back to normal. I'm sick of being sick.

Project Runway Rant: what the hell??

Can anyone tell me why this jackass and his frickin basket hat didn't get tossed in the first episode? Anyone?? I happened to like Stacey's floaty little see-thru number, and she sewed it by HAND, for christ's sake. Granted, she did that because the machines confused her, but so what. Her dress was league's above that goddamned basket and ugly-ass granny shift.

nya nya nyanyanya

we're going to see Tom Waits

are you?

go shawty

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

Except that it is.
It is my motherfucking birthday.
And I shall party as such.

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go sushi boat
It's my birthday
I'm gon' eat you up on my birthday
Everybody eat some cake too on my birthday
Cuz' that's what I want fo' my birthday!

cutey patooty

well, hello there

I know, I know. There are a million things I should be posting about - mostly what I've been up to for the last 4 months, but this trumps it all.
You all know the bottom of the dog pile - Ms. Greta If You're Nasty - but the top of said pile is a new addition just added this week. Everyone, this is Frank. Frank, this is the interbot. Frank is an 8-ish week old chihuahua that was found on the side of the highway in his little doggie carrier. He was with my mom for a couple weeks, but has now moved in with us.

ass clown

I just heard the words "ass clown" on NPR.
I love public radio.


SPRING BREAK!!!

32 Things for Sarah, because she asked

Four jobs I’ve had:
- soccer ball inflator and packager
- RGIS inventory specialist
- research coordinator for a mortgage company
- administrative assistant for various places

Four movies I can watch over and over:
- Anchorman
- the Alien series
- Lawrence of Arabia
- the entire Doris Day catalog

Four places I have lived:
- Seekonk, MA
- Uxbridge, MA
- Athens, GA
- Portland, OR

Four television shows I love to watch:
- Lost
- Seinfeld
- Family Guy
- CSI

Four places I have been on holiday:
- St. George Island, FL
- St. Simon's Island, GA
- Hattaras, NC
- Las Vegas, NV

Four of my favorite dishes:
- Carne Asada
- big salad with lot's of fixin's
- vietnamese bbq pork
- pizza

Four websites I visit daily:
- funcupcake.com
- tonysimon.org (and many of his linked pages)
- robbyrattail
- knitty.com (not daily, bit often)

Four places I would rather be right now:
-home in bed
-in NY at Sarah's house
-in the bahamas doing stuff they advertise on tv, like climbing waterfalls and sunning on a desert island
-in the past, reliving some choice moments

Yippee Ki Ay, kids

This is the first assignment I had to do for my surface design class - we had to make a multi-layered postcard that is a self-portrait (hence the goofy polaroid). I figured this was an obvious choice, being that I have some cowboy pillows in my living room. This is deep, people. Art is complicated - don't you forget it.

I think this term is going to kick my ass. I haven't taken 4 classes since I was a full-time, lazy ass, no job-havin' student. And now I'm taking 3 studio classes and one history class with a studio project. It's going to be fun, and totally worth it, but I'm going to be tired this summer.

I'll try to keep posting pictures of my work over the course of the term. Between the embellishment class and surface design, which covers fabric dyeing and painting, I hope to make some cool stuff. The pattern weaving and Japanese fabrics may prove interesting as well.

i really should be calling you, but...

I don't have anything to say, or any time to say it. My house is a mess, my christmas tree stands undecorated in my living room, unfinished birthday presents litter the floor, christmas shopping lists are written on old walmart receipts, my phone dies after one ten-minute call, and Rob and I have become roommates solely concerned with what's for dinner, whether the dog pooped today, and the pile of laundry threatening to crash through the floor into the apartment below. I need a maid, some take-out, some lingerie, and a new phone stat.

Please continue holding your breath for another week - December 16 is my last exam and all this mess can finally be cleaned up. Thank you for your patience, and know that I love you - in my incredibly messy, unorganized, slap-dash way.

Giving Thanks

I've tried a bunch of times to make a detailed list of all the things I'm thankful for, but it's just too much. I can't do it. I got #1 down - family and friends. That's a given. They are all amazing people who have had a direct effect on who I am today. Even the ones who think they couldn't have possibly...yes, them to. Absolutely. But after that, it all breaks down into a jumbly mess. I'm thankful that I have work, that I get to go to college and develop a talent and love that I have, that I can afford a car to drive and food to eat, that sweet potatoes exist, that my dog Greta is so funny and dang cute, that birds can make me feel choked up, that Fall smells the way it does, that jumping into a pool will always feel as good as it does, that jokes will always be funny and I will always love laughing at them. There a million and ten things that I am thankful for. I'll do my best to keep them in mind tomorrow during dinner while I'm eating as many crescent rolls as I possibly can, and thanking Jesus for the Pillsbury Dough Boy while I do so.

Have a great holiday everybody. I'll be thinking of you.

This past Saturday I celebrated my sister Maggie's 30th birthday. She had three cakes and more friends than I could count to help her celebrate, and it was an intense experience. There's so much of me that still sees her as the funny little mess of a girl who I both adored and terrorized growing up. We've been so much to each other over the years - inspiration, confidante, aggravator, instigator - that there are times I think I understand what twins feel about each other. Maggie and I have been, and still are, so connected. There is rarely a time when my heart doesn't twinge a little when I see her. She's my baby sister. I claimed her as my own as soon as she came through the door, and I intend on staying true to that claim. I love you, Mary Magdelene. Happy Birthday~

Happy Birthday Rob!

Happy Birthday to my funniest, most bestest husband ever! I love you so much, and hope you have an incredible day.

I pledge to you this, on this the day of your birth: I will do all I can to make today a great, fun day JUST SHORT of peeing in your own vomit in a crystal's drive-thru (sorry, boys). I love you, Bubby!

Fall Break - WOOOOOOO

We're having a little break from school today and tomorrow, so that certain individuals who live here in A-Town and are particularly interested in a certain fall sport can travel to Florida to drink heavily and watch said sport occur. Pathetic? Yes. But it's nice and quiet here, so I'm not complaining.

I've been completely engrossed by AMC's MonsterFest - a week long movie festival where all they play is horror movies day and night (on a rotation, so there is some repetition). I love it. I wake up wanting to put it on, and think about what I may be missing while I'm away. Oh Tivo, where are you when I need you? Rob got annoyed with it last night after the 3rd Halloween came on, and made me go and rent a regular movie. I'd never seen Halloween Resurrection, so I was annoyed, but the Stewie movie was mostly worth it. I'm not certain why it costs $30 to buy it, other than their capitalizing on the dumb frat boys who will drop that kind of money for a cartoon movie.

While out renting said movie, we also stopped off at our local boozery for some whiskey and beer, and got a tasty pumpkin ale that I could drink way too much of this fall. It wasn't too candy, spicy, thick-y like previous incarnations of it - it was surprisingly light and tasty. No funky after-taste, and no overwhelming potpourri belly aches afterwards. Now if only I could remember the name, you could all run out and try it yourselves. Well, have a hot toddy instead. We had the traditional lemon, whiskey and honey variety with the Barner-Foxes the other night, which was delicious, and supposedly cured Jana's sore throat she'd had for a week. Last night we did an apple cider version, which was pretty sweet (obviously) but good. The cider and cinnamon stick really brought out the caramel flavor of the whiskey...mmmm, talking about it makes me think an afternoon toddy whilst cleaning and such may be in order. Rob may be taking the bus home from school today!

Our apartment complex offers wireless internet, which is awesome. I found out last night that the entire wireless setup (which lived in a small shed right next to/attached to the building) has been stolen, which is not awesome. So not only is the camera dead, but the internet is as well. Of course, there have been gobs of things I've been dying to do on the computer whilst watching horror movies and drinking hot beverages, only because I can't. Normally I can't be bothered with the silly thing. Dagnabbit. Hopefully they'll replace everything soon, but I'm not holding my breath.

Rob's birthday is November 4th, which is a friday. I think the Evil Lord Martron is coming down for the festivities - anyone else interested? No plans yet, but if it's anything like my birthday this summer, it'll be worth it.

a banjo does not a lullaby make

Yesterday was so awesome that I need to share it with you. It started out normal enough, with classes and work and all that hooey. The day moved quickly and soon it was time for my 2 1/2 hour voyage into the world of gynocology. No details necessary - those of you who know, know. After my loveless date, I met up with Rob and we went home for a quick run before dinner. On the back half of the run, we encountered a running police car parked in a driveway. "Hmm, that's weird. Cops always leave their cars running when they're responding to a call, so I doubt he lives there. I wonder what's going....OH MY GOD!" Two dogs, one bigger than the other, come flying out of the bushes of the house next door and right for us. I start yelling NO! at them while I'm running in circles trying to keep Greta out of reach of their teeth (which they are baring). I end up in the middle of the street somehow, still yelling and going round and round while the big dog tries to bite us. Rob realizes what's going on and quickly gets between the scary dog and Greta and I. I'm still yelling, Rob's offering the dog his forearm to keep him from biting anything precious like his face or his wife, and out comes the cop from the other yard. He calmly walks up and sprays some pepper spray near the dogs and they both take off back into the bushes. He said he was responding to a call of someone else getting chased by them (thanks to Billy Barty for that - what a noble citizen), and had lost sight of them when they found us. We thanked him for being there and took off running like maniacs. Greta was skittish and freaked (at one point at the end, she got out of her collar and went running in a panic straight towards where the dogs had gone), and both Rob and I were suddenly not as tired from our run as we had been about 3 minutes beforehand. Adreneline is some crazy powerful stuff. Thank goodness we all escaped without even the tiniest nibble taken out of us. Both Rob and I were preparing to get bitten, which is such a crazy thing. I was offering the dog my butt, being the meatiest part of me, Rob was giving him his arm in protection of his Business, and we were both just waiting for the dog to latch on. Weird. After a calming night of showers, dinner and homework we headed to bed around 11. I had just started to drop off when I start hearing this music. "where is that coming from? what the hell IS that?" As I start to wake up more, I realize that it's our downstairs neighbor Shank (no joke, this is what he introduced himself as) playing his BANJO and SINGING in the room directly under our bed. The maniac decided to have his special banjo practice time at 11:45 at night. I kept trying to ignore it, calm down my rage, and go back to sleep. Have you ever heard a banjo roll before? That shit is loud. And he wasn't just playing - he was practicing, so he would keep repeating the same little ditty part over and over and over, trying new variations and harmonizing with it at the same time. Oh kill me now. Suddenly, the banjo goes quiet. Oh thank god, he's tuckered himself out. No, wait.What's that base-y noise? Oh, it's his acoustic guitar. How penetratingly loud of him. Giving up on sleeping in the bed, I got Rob to put in some earplugs and went out to sleep on the couch. I'm sure you're asking yourself at this point "why haven't you pounded on the floor or his door or his head yet?" Well, at this point we were trying to wait him out, because 1.) We were too tired, and couldn't deal with getting up, getting dressed and going down there, and 2.) There's nothing more hateful than confrontation with stupid hippies who have made-up names. Regardless of all that, within seconds of my lieing down (and realizing that I could still hear him in the living room because the whole apartment floor was vibrating), Rob came out pulling on clothes to go and tell him to jam it somewhere else. By this time, it was after 1. We climbed back into bed and eventually fell back to sleep, where we slept off our crazy day in the luxurious five hours we had until the alarm went off. Ahhhhhh. Needless to say, I skipped my class and we made use of the snooze button a lot this morning. Stupid hippies.

We're cleaning out the old house tonight and tomorrow in preparation for a walk-through on sunday. I can't wait to be done with this move. It's tiring having something hang over your head like this, and being in moving mode for two weeks is far too long. We tried to go clean some last night, but there was a guy asleep on the platform bed that rob and I were going to disassemble. Hmm. He's from New Orleans, though, so we decided to let him sleep. They've been through so much already, and now we want to deprive these refugees of their nap?! I think not. So we went home and watched the original Fog with Buckshot and Ms. Foxy instead. I love having the Barner-Fox's living right down the hall from us. It's so damn comforting, even if I don't see them for an entire week. I like knowing that they're there, and that I can walk down there in my jammie pants with a glass of wine to watch some tv and relax.

On top of sweeping, mopping, and general disguising of cosmetic boo-boo's in that albatross of a house, we're also heading out to IKEA to buy a bed (goodbye floor - you suck) and then on to somewhere in atlanta (it all looks the same to me, so I never know where I am or where I'm going) to hang with Mr. and Mrs. Robinson and Co! I am so excited to leave town and do something completely unrelated to school or moving or cleaning. It's midterm, and I deserve it dammit. I'm fully looking forward to Alison's CandiCornTini's, being that I love both candy corn and martini's. She doubts we'll be able to drink more than one, and I'm looking forward to proving her wrong. I also hope that some ATL kids will trek out to see us, being that I haven't seen them since RibFest at Tone-Dog's. That includes the BabyMama's - I need to smell me some baby. Oh man, baby smell mixed with candy corn drizzled in vodka - does it get any better than that?

As a side note to those of you who care - I finished my 900 square inch tapestry yesterday and took it off the loom. Booya! Still have a lot of finishing to do, but it's off that infernal machine. Sunday afternoon I dye wool in preparation for the next project (ikat weaving), which actually might be good enough to hang. Sorry no pics, but the camera is still broker than broke.

I woke up today knowing I should just roll over and go back to sleep - just call today a wash and try again tomorrow. I knew this, and yet here I am, out and about still holding onto the weird, slightly sad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I started the day with. A girl in weaving this morning told me something sweet her mom said to her, and I got all teary eyed. I think everyone thought my eyes were watering because I was laughing, but I was laughing at how ridiculous it was that I was crying. Do you see why I should have stayed home today? Can you see how confusing this day is going to be? Maybe a skipped afternoon class and a pumpkin latte from Starbucks will ease my woes a little. Definitely a run tonight. That always makes me feel better, no matter how much I complain before and during. It's amazing to me that knowing the benefit of something is NEVER enough of a boost to get me to do it. Everything's always got to be so goddamned complicated.

I am freaking out. A brandy-new TJMaxx/HomeStore superstore AND a brand new Kohl's opened up here in tiny lil' athens BOTH ON THE SAME DAY! I feel sick to my stomach I want to go so badly. I can just see all my super deals and fabulous finds going home with complete strangers, and I won't stand for it. Most likely I'll go, try on a million things, and leave with nothing. I just need to go and touch everything and take in the scent of the sweat of 3 year olds laboring for pennies. It's intoxicating, isn't it?